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by Hope Vestergaard
Thinking about writing in rhyme?
Maybe you're hoping that putting your story in rhyme will kick it up a notch; make
the ordinary extraordinary; help your manuscript stand out in the slush. Just
remember: rhyming alone doesn't make a story poetic.
I have read so many poems and stories in verse that could be so much better
with just a little effort. Because flawless meter and true rhyme scan
effortlessly, some aspiring rhymers never even realize the blood, sweat, and tears
that have gone into a beautiful poem. In truth, most poets toil over their work.
But don’t despair -- it’s really not so hard to polish rhyming text if you know
what to look for. The following tips will help you give your own poetry the
tender loving care it deserves -- and needs! -- to sing.
Should I or Shouldn't I?
Consider whether or not to rhyme before you
start writing. Your decision may change along the way, but here are a few
compelling reasons to try to rhyme:
- Stories that have a musical
or repetitive (rhythmic) theme are often enhanced by a rhyming format.
- Young children and beginning
readers enjoy rhyme instinctively because it helps them predict what comes
next and remember what they read.
- Rhyming sets a tone for
writing: funny, playful, upbeat, or epic.
The bottom line on whether to rhyme? If the
format constricts your story, you’re probably better off with prose.
Meter
Don’t count syllables. Good meter has two components: matching stressed and
unstressed beats, and natural stresses on each word.
The “matching stresses” part is pretty straightforward. I’ve diagrammed a few
lines below to illustrate what I mean. CAPS indicate stressed syllables,
lowercase letters indicate unstressed syllables.
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there ONCE was a MAN from peRU |
u/S/uu/S/uu/S |
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who DREAMED he was EATing his SHOE |
u/S/uu/S/uu/S |
The unstressed syllables tend to disappear when poetry is read aloud. What
needs to match from line to line is not the total number of syllables, but the
number and pattern of stressed beats. Some writers assume that people will
adjust their reading to emphasize unstressed syllables and make the meter
“work,” but that makes a poem clunky and forced. A great poem can be read well by
ANYONE who reads it, the first time through.
The stresses in the above example fall in the natural places where the stresses
land when most people say the words in speech. If we monkey with the meter by
adding a word, the line can be read several different ways, none of them
graceful.
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there once WAS a young MAN from PERu |
uu/S/uu/S/u/Su |
-or-
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there ONCE was a YOUNG man from perU |
u/S/uu/ S/uuu/U |
-or-
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there ONCE was a YOUNG man from PERu |
u/S/uu/S/uu/S/u |
The easiest way I've found to check
poems for
wishful meter is to format the manuscript using the lowercase/CAPS pattern to
note natural stresses. A quick visual scan shows whether the pattern is symmetrical
throughout the poem.
FAQ: Can I change my meter within a longer piece? Yes, with reason. It
should happen at an appropriate point in the piece – with increased drama, to
signal slowing down, or to note a different narrator. It’s also fine to switch
meter to break up a sing-songy pattern. But it should still have symmetry within
the larger work. So only shifting meter for a stanza here or there is not okay;
having a refrain or “break” type shift at several well-spaced points within a
piece can add interest and depth.
True Rhymes and Misdemeanors
Rhyming dictionaries are great tools, but they are not foolproof. Writers should
consider whether listed words rhyme in typical everyday use. Grain
and again do not rhyme in American English, though they’re often listed
as rhyming. You can make them rhyme if you know they’re coming, but first-time
readers will stumble. Pay attention to regional dialects. A friend from Ohio
often inserts the letter r into words – as in, warsh the clothes. In her
corner of the world, warsh and harsh rhyme. But for the vast
majority of American readers, they do not. When in doubt, go with universal
pronunciations.
What about near-rhymes such as men/bend or wink/ring—are they
absolutely verboten? Most of the time it's possible to work around them, so when I find
verse sprinkled with near-rhyme, I tend to assume the writer hasn’t tried hard enough.
In my own work, if I have bent over backwards looking for a way around a near-rhyme and
both words in the rhyme are critical to what I’m trying to say, I may let them
be. But it’s a last resort, and should not be something so jarring that the
reader stops short when she gets to the end of the line.
What about those annoying lines that simply Will Not Rhyme? See if you can live
without them. Do they say something important? Do they say something you’ve said
elsewhere? If you really and truly need the pesky words, try changing their
position. Maybe you can end the line with a word that is easier to rhyme.
Sometimes mixing up a stanza solves the problem: move line four up to line two
and see what shakes out. And in the end, consider this: if you’ve poked and prodded and shoehorned to make a
verse work, it may not work at all.
FAQ: Is it okay to use poetic license to rearrange words in an unconventional
way to make the end rhymes work? Sometimes writers invert a sentence so the
word order is unnatural. For example, No more baking should you do. No
one talks like this! If you’re writing an epic, artsy piece in which the whole
structure and narrative voice is rather high-falutin’, it might fly. But
sneaking an inverted line into a poem told in an ordinary voice is a red flag
that calls attention to the problematic line.
Housekeeping
Rhyming stories and poems suffer from the same maladies as prose: flabby plots,
one-dimensional characters, pat resolutions. Unfortunately, these problems are
sometimes obscured by a rhyming format. Good meter and true rhymes are not a
get-out-of-jail-free card. If your writing isn’t well developed, even
perfectly metered poems and stories will not impress the reader. So don’t forget
to review these elements of any good story:
- Characters: Are they well
rounded? Realistic? Imperfect? Integral?
- Plot: Do you have one? Is
the problem or quest interesting?
- Pacing: Does your story
march forward? Is your storytelling voice strong and rich? Have you eliminated all
the clutter words and cereal fillers?
- Resolution (in poems, this
may just be an ending twist): is the payoff worth the effort to get there?
Will the reader leave your piece with surprise, delight, and/or satisfaction?
There is something so pleasing about a poem that hits the mark on content
and form. It’s true, most readers will ever know how hard it is to get your
rhymes to sing…but that’s okay. You will.
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Looking
to improve your own poetry?
First, fine-tune your ears by reading hundreds of good poems. May I
suggest: |
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Douglas Florian: MAMMALABILIA |
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MaryAnn Hoberman: SEVEN SILLY EATERS |
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J. Patrick Lewis: THE LITTLE BUGGERS |
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Alice Schertle: HOW NOW, BROWN COW? |
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Linda Smith: WHEN MOON FELL DOWN |
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Janet Wong: GRUMP |
This article first appeared on
www.kidmagwriters.com, November,
2004.
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